thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
