So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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