You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think your dad took our porno
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
