Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
