Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
