There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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