I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
