I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
