Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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