im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
