So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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