Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
