I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
