we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
