i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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