We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
