I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
