He is an equal opportunity slut.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
