A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
