If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize