That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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