I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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