There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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