Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
