all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
