Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
