we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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