His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just had sex on a roof
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
