he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
