At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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