I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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