so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
