It's Friday. Sex?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
