I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
