I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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