It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
