I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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