I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
