I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize