I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
