If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
