she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
