Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.

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(813): View more from Florida

she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

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(410): View more from Maryland

I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk

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(972): View more from Texas

Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence

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(406): View more from Montana

I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.

(406): View more from Montana

I need an aspirin and some dignity.

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