he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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