that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
