Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
