nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
