I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
