He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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