you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I touched a dick in church today
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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