apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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