I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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