it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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