Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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