so explain again why im purple
no
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
