Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
