So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
