names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
