Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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