I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
