i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
