we're blogging at a bar
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
