I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
